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Men look at women and think they’re these emotional nutjobs; women look at men and think they’re un-emotional rocks. In truth, both are right from the perspective of the other side. So, women expect a man to be more emotionally stable than them (easy) but then want him to be more emotionally responsive than most men (not easy).

So, we’ve now found the third leg of the triangle but we still have “social desirability” bias in Matt’s original survey — women are parroting what they think they’re supposed to say. Men are too. Men claim to want a hot girl but ugly girls get laid a lot. Women claim to want intelligent and sensitive and “Oh no, I don’t care what he looks like” — puh-leeze. Women are just as shallow as men, we’ve just created a social facade that they aren’t.

So, if we corrected the triangle and accounted for survey bias, I suspect that women’s responses would be much closer to men’s, perhaps with a slighter higher preference for “intelligence” than “emotionally stable/responsive”, since they might view “intelligence” as an indicator for “money” or “success”.

Richard | RichardShelmerdine?.com April 17, 2010 at 2:51 am I like Phils idea of the funny and playful part. Still its a great idea and should be considered as something new and creative.

Two Becomes One August 15, 2010 at 10:17 pm Hey Phil, You seem to understand women more than most men. I’m thinking that you must have sisters. Not sure about the part that you think we’re all unstable, but I guess there are times when we seem that way. Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Interesting study.

rocco September 10, 2010 at 11:38 am I love this, although I believe people are not the best at knowing what makes them tick. Ideally women want an emotionally stable intelligent man. I think they truly believe that’s what they want but I would say what they are attracted to is different. You can’t chose who you are attracted to, it just happens. For example mom’s tell their sons to be kind and nice to women and you’ll find a nice girl. These unfortunate son’s are the nice guys that finish last. I know because I use to be one. They never tell them you need to be cocky and play the game to create attraction in women because for the most part women don’t know what attracts them to a guy. So your experiment is interesting and is telling us what people think they want. But its not telling us which combination is the most successful.