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The hypthetical husband who smacks his wife across his knee every now and again – with her consent, maybe even at her suggestion – as an enjoyable preliminary to lovemaking, is only pretending, pro tem, to be an authoritarian. He is acting a part, just as she is – in their everyday lives they may well behave entirely differently – and the success of the production will depend to a very great extent on their suspension of disbelief, itself enabled or crippled by the quality of otherwise of the available thespian skills. A temporarily submissive female may require a very great effort of will to convince herself, even on the most fleeting and insubstantial level, that a very short man with a squeaky voice who keeps mispronouncing the Words of Power is actually a confident and capable superman, whose word is law, whose intentions are not to be flouted, and whose iron-muscled thighs constitute an altar on which all sins will be washed clean. That it can be achieved at all is probably due to the overmastering qualities of fundamental sexual desire. (“Close your eyes and imagine he's Sean Connery.”)

This is one of my favourite passages from the whole book, and I recongnised it as being something I'd done myself, I had had to struggle in the past to convince myself that the man spanking me was the authentic dominant male, not just someone doing an imitation in order to gratify my desires. What the book couldn't address was my very strong desire to feel that my husband's dominance was real, not just an act put on for the duration of the spanking. This is a book about spanking however, not about Taken In Hand relationships, and it couldn't explain all my feelings.

Different varieties of dominant personalities are discussed, the “no-nonsense lover” being the one who came closest to my own fantasies, the one who pops up so often in mainstream films where the exasperated hero wallops the heroine. Other personalities I found less appealing, having no interest in wicked uncles, schoolmasters, slavemasters, etc.

Chapter 13 “The Rite” discusses the ritualised nature of flagellation, and I recognised how true this was. Mr anthony describes the seven distinict stages of the proto-ritual:
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