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Like the man who has innate dominant desires, there is much that a woman with innate submissive desires can do to cultivate the qualities that will suit her well in a relationship with a dominant man. But those are mostly just the qualities of an emotionally healthy person of integrity and maturity, and not some special set of "submissive" personality traits that needs to be encouraged so that she can become a "true submissive."
The idea that sexually submissive women need to be "trained into submission" has always seemed to me to be perhaps the single most ludicrous notion floating about in the bdsm community. I have long suspected that the typical male "dom" likes to focus on "training his submissives" precisely because he is sorely lacking the courage or integrity or perceptiveness to focus on training the one person he really *should* be attempting to mold and shape: namely, himself.
by DeeMarie? on 2006 Dec 14 - 11:18 | reply to this comment Male powers and their objects To the nature/nurture analysis offered here, one which tends to view natural born male dominance and its cultivation in standalone fashion, I’d like to interject a more dynamic or relational perspective that considers powers and capacities and their adequate objects. Just as esthetic appreciation of works of art can give us notions of the ideal objects with the power to move us deeply, sometimes overwhelmingly so, the encounter of another person can stir depths in our being never before fully lived. Thus, in the terms of this discussion, if a “dominant male” (I’d more likely put it as sexually assertive and aggressive male) be considered a heat-seeking missile, then an unusually desirable target has the effect of upping the explosive ante as he homes in.
