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If the 'real power' exercised by the dominant partner in a Taken In Hand relationship doesn't serve the best interests of the submissive partner, then it is just as much abuse as it would be if a parent used their authority over a child in a way that didn't serve the child's best interests. A Taken In Hand relationship is not about someone being able to use his 'power' in any way he chooses, regardless of the feelings of his partner. That sounds scary to me. Not my cup of tea at all. If you're not considering the best interests of your partner, then you've no business being in a position of authority at all.

by Louise C on 2005 Apr 20 - 19:04 | reply to this comment
I agree
I agree with this post. Having the power to rule doesn't mean the husband has to rule inconsiderately.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Apr 20 - 20:55 | reply to this comment
Difference in Locus of Power
Where taken in hand differs from BDSM is that in BDSM the woman controls that action through pre-ritual negotiation and the use of safe words. Being taken in hand means exactly what it says. It is not a game. The man in charge. For radicalized women, the thought can be absolutely terrifying.

by Noone on 2005 Apr 22 - 10:35 | reply to this comment
A terrifying thought
Well, I think the idea of a man having total power over a woman might be a frightening thought for any woman, radicalised or not. I imagine that in most Taken In Hand relationships there is a certain amount of negotiation. You can like the idea of a man being in charge without thinking of yourself as a helpless slave, bound to obey his every command. Any relationship, whether Taken In Hand or not, can have changes made to it if one or both of the participants don't like what is going on. No relationship is set in stone.

by Louise C on 2005 Apr 22 - 16:07 | reply to this comment
Flogging the Slave and Other Fairytales
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