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Unfortunately religion plays a role in this as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm for religion. I am not for pretending feeling sexual desire has nothing to do with why we (women) crave a strong man. And I don't believe that Christ ever intended for the Bible to determine what a couple should and should not feel they want and need. Not all relationships are the same, you can't learn how to be married to your (specific) partner from a book, class, or even spiritual leader. It's a journey of self discovery that never ends and always changes.

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Aug 11 - 19:23 | reply to this comment
reply
Yes, that was a good article! I can relate to a lot that was said! I would have to say the main difference is that I would say I am probably a spanko. I could be spanked anytime for any reason or for no reason at all. Sometimes I think the pain is hard to take and other times I invite it ~which I don't understand at times. I think the authority is the main ingredient for me, though, because sometimes when I'm enduring the pain, I'm not liking it at that time but I'm overwhelmed with joy at the thought of being under his control. Loving his control makes the pain irrelevant for me. While I love the feeling of a man being in control, I don't like him to treat me as some child with all kinds of rules and ridiculous expectations in real life because he and I both are grown adults! The man that used to spank me was a friend and he would do it if I got mouthy with him, etc. but even though it seemed so real, in reality it was done because I was into it and he knew it. Now, my husband spanks me because I like it. That's not to say that he wouldn't spank the dickens out of me if I did something really stupid or dangerous but to do it for some silly mistake or to correct my future behavior~ it wouldn't work because if I'm spanked, it would just leave me wanting more ~ like an alcoholic that takes that drink and has to have another~and I would probably act up to get it again :)....so interesting how everyone has their own recipe for this ~as it should be :)

by summer24 on 2005 Aug 12 - 22:08 | reply to this comment
DD and other sites
I have found Taken In Hand a lot different than other DD sites. I have seen a lot of males on Taken In Hand, but I see mostly females. On other DD sites, it's just the opposite. I belong to one called Fondly and Firmly. If you read through some of their postings, you will see the big difference. Taken in Hand seems to be more relaxed. There seems to be more...umm...varieties of DD. I'm having a hard time trying to explain that. Mr. Fondly is very strong in how he feels in how a man should be disciplining his wife. And the wives should be more obediant. We tend to follow the stricter DD. I see in Taken In Hand that there is a lot of contraversy over what DD is. I have posted several different messages and there is always a reply where people don't agree with me. There seems to always be an argument. I understand that Taken In Hand is just about all the different ways a person could be taken in hand, but when one starts talking about DD, I believe they should understand that DD is about total surrender.
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