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M.D. wrote:
Some mental health professionals (not those who are sympathetic to Taken In Hand) say that the wires in such a woman's brain get crossed because of childhood abuse. Pain/control and love become entangled in her mind and these juxtaposed experiences are delivered to her by the dominant man.
As the owner of this site, but also as a psychologist, I am sympathetic to Taken In Hand, but I think it very likely that some women who have suffered physical or sexual abuse in their childhoods have indeed got their wires crossed, as M.D. put it, and that it still does not follow that Taken In Hand is a bad idea for those women. Such women may have to be extra careful to avoid ending up with an abuser, and they may well need some outside help as they create their Taken In Hand relationship, but I thoroughly disagree with the view that says either that Taken In Hand is yet more abuse (if it is, then it is not a Taken In Hand relationship but an abusive one!) or that previously-abused women must avoid relationships having any whiff of power/spanking dynamics.
Most readers of this site, as far as I can tell, have not been abused and are not remotely unstable. One of the things women often say when they email me is that they really like the fact that this site is for ‘normal’, down-to-earth people. But since the discussion on this thread is about the view mental health professional have of Taken In Hand, in this post I want to make a point not about the general readership of this site but about a small proportion of readers – about women who, perhaps because of physiological vulnerability and exposure to abuse in childhood, are very reactive and have many problems.
