start love

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I think it’s alright to say that I’m currently talking to someone. He happens to be several states away though. In California. This weekend was supposed to be his first trip out to see me but work got in the way…again. I know I can’t talk. I work like it’s a husband I’m trying to keep happy. But I’m super disappointed. Am I being too impatient. My parents have always pointed out that flaw. I’m an extremely impatient person. Mostly because I don’t want to ever know I have wasted my time at anything or on anyone.

I know that things come up. But I have a list of things and places on my agenda for today that I was trying to move around or just figure out to clone myself. All the while I knew that my “main” priority was his plane arriving tonight. That isn’t going to happen. Some of you have said that building a friendship first in the event of long distance connections is best. That is happening so maybe I should continue to let that aspect build. But in the meantime, I seem to be in a constant state of jade. As in jaded. As in why do I really want the hassle of trying to strike up a relationship.

Another bad thing: I always wait for that other shoe to drop…actually I wait for several of them.